Wow

So... I've totally just discovered something about myself and I don't think I like it. Actually... I don't like it one bit.

And I don't want you all to judge me by what I do. Really don't. Because I hate that I do it, but it seems I can't stop at the same time.

I like to pick out a guy, probs about one in each class, and I will try with all my skills to get him to like me. No joke. I may not even want to date them, fuck them, kiss them. But they have something I want.

It's so retarded.

And I've realised I've done it for about the majority of my high schooling career as well.

Isn't that a sad thing to do.

People Watching...

I love people watching. I think it is one of the greatest things to do. I just like observing what other people do. It doesn't matter if I know them or not or whether I can even hear what they are saying. It's just interesting.

Last night was very interesting.

I went out with my uni friends for the first time.

People are at their most interesting when they are drunk. This was the first time I had seen some of them outside of class. It kind of amazes me at how they act. It's like a heightened version of yourself when you are drunk. You feel everything 10 times harder and act on almost every impulse.

Even when you look at people within the place you find all different types. There are the broody guys standing in the corner, checking out everyone, pot of beer in the hand. They aren't here to dance and as much as they want to pick up they'll generally just hang back.

Then there are the people at the bar. These people generally are talking a hundred times louder than usual, all dying for a drink and giggle and shout a lot.

And then there is the drunk guys up dancing. They all think they have something to offer and then you get the one dickhead that comes up and thinks you want to dance with him purely because you briefly made eye contact with him.

And then there are the women.

There's the drunk girl/s. These fall into many MANY categories:

1. The tipsy girl - acts pretty normal, just slightly louder than usual

2. The completely drunk girl - Barely able to stand, eyes unable to function, generally just stumbles around.

3. The girl who will do anyone - There is always one. They will flit from guy to guy till the find someone to hook up with.

4. The group of dancing girls - Generally very protective of each other and just out for a good time.

The list is endless.

The point is, that watching a person act completely naturally is amazing. I find it a really good tool for acting too. To be able to recall simple movements is sometimes one of the hardest things to do. Especially when in a different character.

Anyway, I don't want you all to think I'm a freak. I think I'll stop here.

Boys...

Boys suck. They really do.

I don't know why we bother to swan around after them all the time. All they do is fuck us over.

My poor dear friend and soulmate has had a hard time with this guy. You might remember him, the fuckwit I blogged about a little while ago.

Anyways, this fucker has decided to make up many a lie about my soulmate and I can't help but want to punch him in the face.

Why do they do it??

I don't understand.

Is it to make them seem like a big tough man? Is it to make them seem cool? Is it because they have a general disregard of our feelings?

Why?

Empty Chest...

Since I've moved to Melbourne I've not felt quite complete. Like theres something missing. Like I've forgotten something I can't quite remember.

It's like this heavy feeling in my chest, yet it's completely empty at the same time.

I feel alone, but I'm surrounded by people.

I burst into tears and the pain that caused it is quickly forgotten.

I yearn for home, but when I get there I miss the city.

I'm at this in between place and I hate it. Like I'm left in limbo, waiting to pass through the gate.

I feel restless.

Nothing...

I almost had a car crash tonight.

Shock. Pain. Tears. Phone Calls. Nausea. Adrenalline. Tired. Nav Man. Punctured Tyre. Home. Sleep.

Benella...

Ok, so this has become somewhat of a fascination within my Principles of Live Performance class.

There is a guy called Ben. He is very nice. He is Asian. He dresses very neatly. He gives off the impression of being gay.

There is a girl called Ella. She is very nice. She is slightly off beat. She dresses slovenly. She flirts heavily with Ben.

Now, here comes the amazing thing... BEN FLIRTS BACK!

They are all over each other. It makes me sick! Well, not really.

Anywhooo... It's become kinda funny because she has changed the way she dresses, choosing to wear nicer clothes than what she wore the first couple of weeks and today she took her glasses off for a while.

I think the should get together...

But not in front of me...

Ew.

PS. I know I have misspelt Benalla. I've changed it purposely.

PPS. Ben and Ella look NOTHING like the photo. It is used only to show the oddness of the coupling.

So I Can Get Mine and You Get Yours...

Ok. So the first time I did it I thought "Whatever, it's only once. Whats the harm. My friend does it."

When I did it again a couple of days later I laughed and thought "Whats once more gunna hurt?"

It's now got to the point where I'm doing it daily. I can't help it. To quote Robert Downey Jr. "It's like I've got a gun in my mouth and I like the taste of the metal."

I'm an addict.

A FAN FICTION ADDICT!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh, I am hilarious.

It is true though what I said.

I can't stop reading these damn stories about Draco Malfoy and Hermoine Granger. It's like nerd porn.

Ok. That's all I've got to say. I can't type anymore. I'm starting to get the DTs.

PS. The title is lyrics from Amy Winehouse's song "Addicted". I was gunna use another line from that song but thought "It's got me addicted, did more than any dick did" is a little weird for fanfiction. Makes me sound like a freak.

PPS. This is the link if you wanna check it out:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1353450/AkashaTheKitty