Ok, once again not a great blog, but I've been doing nothing all day.
So I thought I'd just talk briefly about a scene which over like the past, oooh I dunno, 24 hours say, has been cracking me up non stop.
Ok, so it's taken from the film "The Singing Detective"
Robert Downey Jr plays an author who has a very bad skin condition and is basically unable to move. He has a very bad temper and quick wit.
Katie Holmes plays a nurse who is about the only person nice to him in the hospital.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand action!
Ok, so Katie walks in and Robert is sort of spouting gibberish to her about his book. He then begins to notice that she is putting on rubber gloves in a very seductive way. Robert swallows hard and says "I suppose you're here to grease me", Katie nods and says "I'll undress you now, I'll try not to hurt".
So she progresses to strip him. At this point once his pants are removed Robert becomes aware of just how pretty Katie is and what she is about to do. His inner monologue begins; "Cock, do not crow! Cock do not stir!" While this is going on it cuts to Katie who begins to unscrew the lid of the cream. The inner monologue continues "Think of boring things... The Mormon tabernacle choir...." Katie begins to coat her hands with the cream and begins to rub his legs "...presents selections from "The Sound of Music"... Old Baseball Players... Nine grain toast with.... ugghhh... reduced... sugar... marmalade". Roberts face contorts to pain as he concerntrates hard.
Katie then interrupts "I'm not hurting you am I? Not too hard?" "No, not too hard" "It's particularly bad here in your inner thigh"
Roberts inner monologue continues, Katie interrupts again "I'm going to have to lift your penis now to grease around it"
We see a flash of white light and Robert is now in his hospital bed surrounded by beautiful women and Katie wearing white lingerie singing "Mr Sandman"
It then cuts to Robert without his skin condition riding out in a big pink Cadillac with these women all around and Katie with her arms around him. Skin conditioned Robert continues to watch from his hospital bed with a look of sheer joy on his face.
As the song continues, Katie and Robert begin to kiss and Katie's hand wanders down to his belt. She undoes it and repeats the line "I'm going to have to lift your penis now to grease around it" except this time it takes on a whole new meaning.
As the dream continues it cuts to more and more shots of the women dancing and the car symbolising the phallus. Eventually we see more and more shots of the exhaust pipe, till BANG we see a big shot of white steam come out of the exhaust.
Cut to Robert back in hospital bed. His eyes open wide. A look of shock on his face. He looks up at Katie. Her eyes are wide. She goes for the tissues and begins to clean up.
Robert: "I'm sorry about this. It's the only part of my body that still sort of functions"
Katie: "Do we have to talk about this?"
Robert: "No"
END OF SCENE
priceless...
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