Green Eyes...

So I discovered something tonight. Jealousy does not suite me.

I'm generally never a jealous person, but wow tonight I was feeling it.

You see, there's this guy I like. Well, probably more than like. It's been like this for a few years. I always think I'm getting over him, then I see him again and BAM I like him again.

He once sung "Hey There Delilah" to me. It was beautiful.

He is a little bit younger than me though. He's like three years younger, which sure doesn't sound that bad, but when you're 20 and he's 17, it does sound a little creepy.

ANYWAY... I saw him tonight for the first time in at least six months. Anyways he was really lovely and everything was going really good and then I thought well it's probably time I went back to my friends, because I had been missing for a good 20-30minutes by this point. So I went back blah blah blah and then I looked back over and I see him dancing with this girl.

Nobody else was dancing, but they were. The feeling that came over me was unbelievable. It was soul crushing. I saw them sort of flirting a bit and was just so absolutely devastated.

So for a good 15-20mins I was feeling this. Every so often I would look over, but in the end I had to stop because it hurt to much. I hated that slut so much. I mean, I didn't even know her, but I wanted to hurt her so bad.

I have never ever felt like that. Ever.

And then the most wonderous thing happened. The boy's friend came over and gave her this huge hug and they started making out and I realised that she wasn't with my guy.

The relief that flooded over me was unbelievable. I mean, I had been feeling physically ill before. So with that confirmed I began to enjoy the concert more and was able to concerntrate.

A little bit later I began to get that feeling that someone was staring at me. You know when you just get that feeling. So I looked around and saw that he was looking at me. As soon as we made eye contact he looked away. But he wasn't looking at me like I was some awful person or anything. It was a loving and kind look. It was bliss.

I repositioned myself so that I could see him in my peripheral vision and I caught him looking at me constantly. I have never been so happy. Eventually I had to look over at him and the smile that he gave me just beamed. And he winked.

I know it's so stupid that I've got so excited over this, but it really did mean a lot to me.

Eventually he went over to his parents and I was in a conversation with other people. I was getting cold by this point and was rubbing my arms and sort of moving my legs to keep warm. I felt him looking at me again and looked over and he motioned towards his jacket and said "Do you want it?". That made my heart melt.

*sigh*