Puff...

Why does smoking always look so cool?

Well, I mean not always, but sometimes. I hate the fact that I find it cool, I hate that I love the look, I hate that I love the smell and I hate that I love the taste of it on a guy.

I mean, cigarette doesn't always taste great, but sometimes it does.

The thing is I can't actually smoke. I develop severe asthma when I do and it's got worse as I've got older. I used to be able to do second hand smoking, but I can't even do that anymore.

I don't even know why that makes me sad? Isn't that kind of sick?

I'd never want to take it up though.

I think the whole reason I like the smell is because my auntie who used to look after me a lot used to smoke when I was younger, so I guess it just reminds me of my childhood. Makes me feel comforted.

Guys can look so fucking hot when they smoke. Girls just look trashy. Always look trashy. I'm not a trashy girl. I'm a walking cliche, but I'm not trashy. I don't do trashy.

Well, I hope I'm not trashy.

I would love to be back in the 50s when everyone smoked. That's when smoking was classy. I'd smoke with a filter, coz they're sick.

I've tried smoking with a filter. It's odd.

I'd like to be able to blow smoke rings.

I've wanted to be able to do that since I was a kid.

I feel a little awkward now that I've discussed this. I've never really voiced my opinion on smoking. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want it as a habit. I know it's a foul, killing habit, but dammit, why do I find it attractive?

I think mentally something doesn't click in right.